A Pixelshot reader commented on the previous post: Why I Support Barack Obama. Alexandra questioned how I thought Barack would actually help to heal the nation (inferring that the divisions in our country are insurmountable). I wrote a reply to her comment, but thought it would make a good post, so here it is:
Yes we are a nation of people divided over basic principles. However, we have always had differences, but recently those differences have been deepened by those who fling hatred and anger at each other for selfish gains. If we instead start on the path of identifying and respecting our commonalities (and, after all, we have many more commonalities than differences), we can begin the process of healing. That’s the way Barack’s mind is oriented.
Consider, for example, that my wife and I have come from very different upbringings, politically speaking, which we consider as an ADVANTAGE in our political (and personal) lives, rather than a disadvantage–an advantage because we can discuss openly why we believe a certain way, in a non-threatening scenario (usually!). We can do this because we respect that each of us is a rational, intelligent person and therefore must have a reasonable explanation for that belief (as opposed to fearing the harm that a different opinion might bring to us). Once we’ve discussed, we understand each other’s reason behind the belief and nearly always we each come to the middle a little, or a lot. Occasionally, we find that one of us (or both) is holding on to a belief simply because we have never had a reason to believe otherwise. When this happens, it is very revealing.
I think it is in these very exchanges–finding the true reasons behind a belief–that our society makes progress. One reason that issues like abortion are so heated is that there is reason and Truth on both sides of the issue. It is good to protect the life of an unborn child. It is also good to protect the sanctity of a woman’s choice. Yet each “side” locks on to the good of their side and sometimes uses it to whack over the heads of the other side. But, there’s a better way, it’s simple: start by assuming that people are good and have a rational reason for their beliefs.
For my work, I often find myself trying to repair strained relationships between my group and a partner group which has a very different set of needs and interests. One approach would be to complain, backstab, or escalate and twist the situation to my benefit (which is tempting, but ends up in a bad place). OR, I can repair the relationship and begin a new era. The most effective way for me to begin to repair the relationship is by first identifying our commonalities. Then I accept that we have different interests and base my interactions with others on resolving conflict from the perspective of the interests rather than making it personal and call a person “wrong” or “evil”.
Of course, that’s easier said than done, but it does work. We have seen Barack in situations where his opponent lashes out trying to rattle him from a personal level. A normal person would lash back, but he doesn’t. It’s even a bit frustrating at times. THAT is what this country needs: someone who can take the punches and not lash back personally. Further, someone who can give an example of what is GOOD between us, what we have in common, and show how people can unite behind a common goal even if they have significant differences as individuals. He embodies that. We need that.
Consider the alternative: more of the same us-versus-them mentality. How about just “us”? If we can redefine what “us” means by turning outward rather than inward, then we will see that we have much more in common than we have as differences.
Another point is that aside from the strengths of his individual character, Barack, by his very position, represents change and therefore brings with him the opportunity for those of us to look forward rather than hanging our heads. In other words, just because he represents a movement, he is in a unique position to represent a larger majority (consider, for example that more than 300,000 people have DONATED to his campaign in 2008 alone. According to Obama’s web site, “no one has ever built a campaign involving so many Americans as true stakeholders.”)
I don’t know where he gets it, but he’s got MOJO. Probably most of it is his own character, and the rest of it is people like you and me who are ready to believe again.
I agree with you that discussing differences in the context of mutual respect helps everyone to grow and turns differences into strengths and advantages.
I challenge the notion that we are divided over basic principles. As we have traveled, both inside the US and out, I have realized that most people want the same thing: safety, shelter, opportunity, love, health, etc. We just sometimes disagree about how to accomplish and support those principles. For example, while one person might think that we make the world safer through defending ourselves (or even preemptively eliminating perceived threats) and another may think that we make the world safer through diplomatic efforts and aid to the poorest nations, both people agree on the basic principle of safety. Perhaps we’re not as different or as divided as it seems, we just have not been able to respect the different approaches that people take in a quest to arrive at the same basic principles.
I’m voting for Tony Blair!
Is he running?